Tag Archive | confusion

Murky Waters

I

see her

the face

is

familiar

every

curve,

every

line

I vaguely

remember

though

it seems

eons

ago;

I miss

her,

I think

she

is me

but

not quite,

not

anymore.

 

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How?

How can

you explain

a loneliness,

a sadness

so pervasive

that

no words

can describe?

When

all that is left

is a hole

while

everything around

is a bustle

of activity?

How can you

explain

anguish, grief,

and strife

when

the war being waged

is within?

When all that

is left

is a pit

while

everything around

is

a merry celebration

how

can you explain

shadows –

overwhelming emptiness

when

I can’t even

explain myself?

Book Update 2

Hello again! ^_^ To give you an idea or feel of my book, Unmasked, here are two samples (the poem The Cottage and Living in Faith are part of the poetry novel):

Trance
In space and time
outside looking in
the world sluggishly turns
everyone moves
an hour at a time;
stuck in stasis
I stand at
the edge of existence,
grasping at
the dregs of life.

In Between
The netherworld
beckons
I am neither awake
nor asleep
dreams are impossible
to open eyes
a world here and there
is where I am in

Cold, barren
wasted land;
golden canaries,
singing nightingales
two worlds I have to choose from,
two worlds I have to balance.

Hypnagogia

How do you go back to a world you feel strongly disconnected from? Where you’ve been heartlessly yanked out and where everyone is engrossed in their own business that you feel like an intruder? You stand in the middle of a crowd who seems to be in a timeless fast-forward mode that you can’t reach out to even one. You watch them having fun; you hear their voices which are a mixture of mirth, sorrow, fun, confusion, hope, anger and regret that you feel so alien. You don’t belong here, that you’re sure of but there’s that vague sense of familiarity; being one of them. No, you are one of them – weren’t you?

There was a time when you were one of them. Now you’re not. You’re just a vessel; no soul, no spirit. You feel so tiny in a vast world. You long to be part of it. Somehow you remember a shared laugh, a happiness, a oneness. It’s all gone though. You want it back but you’re outside, looking in. You want with a wanting that can’t be quenched and though its grip is surprisingly light escape is still bleak. Slowly you realize that despite of your longing, going back to how it was and moving forward to how it will-should be will be very hard. Not because people are harsh. Not because most of your family and friends have abandoned you; and certainly not because you are truly lost. It’s simply because it has always been tough fighting one’s self.