Tag Archive | dreams

Chasing the Dream

Ever since I can remember I have only had one dream and one dream alone – to do nothing but write. Since graduating college, I’ve had trouble looking for work only because I sometimes did not feel like working at all as I felt that it will interfere with my writing. I actually tried to start my own magazine company to be able to do what I loved to do but it fell to the wayside as my intended business partner wasn’t that much interested. Nonetheless, I kept dreaming – of being able to write most of the time, if not all of the time.

In line with this dream, I pursued a career in the publishing world and finally landed a job as an Editorial Assistant – a dream job that let me write to my heart’s content. Unfortunately, it ended in a year since I had to go to Law school. Far, far from my dream; I know but that’s an entirely different story will go into next time. Anyway, I stopped writing for a while during my stint in Law school. Though there was a point during my stay in Law school that I was able to write a poetry book. Granted, it didn’t sell much but I was ecstatic. Sure, I had doubts if I was really meant to be a writer but I secretly held on to my dream. Stubbornly, you may say.

I know being a writer doesn’t pay much but I don’t really live for the money, necessary as it is. I live more for my passion for writing. The writing that lights my soul to blazes and gives me an indescribable contentment I have never known – at least career wise. Through my years of pursuing this dream, I have tried to write as much as possible, entered writing contests when I can, and even make outlines and deadlines for my planned novels. But nothing seemed to be working. I was stuck. More than 20 years since high school and I have nothing to show for my writing. Still, the passion for writing has never left my side. If at all, it has only kept burning brighter and brighter.

Until now. 18 years since I tried to start my own magazine business, I have finally landed my dream job. A job my soul has been longing and aching for. I am finally, at 39 years of age, an Editor-in-Chief. The biggest dream job anyone with the passion for writing could ever want. Now I can finally do what I’ve always wanted to do – to write all the time. With the added bonus of brainstorming articles with my team and editing other people’s articles. I guess you can say, I got my little slice of work heaven.

So, why am I sharing this with you? I guess I just wanted to let you know that if you have a dream, never give up on it. Never stop believing that it will come true. Undoubtedly, there will be hindrances and road blocks but instead of disheartening you, if you’re dream is big enough, it will just make you more resolved to make that dream come true. Every dream is worth pursuing. Especially one that burns your soul and keeps you wanting for more. If you have the kind of passion for something that engulfs your whole being, follow it and never stray from that path. Sure, you will have your doubts. Everyone will. But the difference with the passionate people and people who half-heartedly want something is that whenever the doubts come, passionate people do not let it derail them. Sure, it will make them want to give up but only in thoughts. After a while, they will get up, shake the dust off, and go back on the path towards their dreams again. Be that person. Dream big, have courage, and pray. Someday, it will come true just as long as you work hard enough and never let go of your dream. Also, believe in yourself.

Go on, chase your dream. Dream big and have courage. Dreams really do come true, sometimes it just takes a while so be patient and stay on the path. And whatever happens, never, ever give up.

Believe

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As soon as I saw this necklace on Bradford Exchange I knew I had to have it. Not because I am terribly fond of butterflies and flowers but more because of the writing on the back.

All writers know that writing is a hard and lonely road filled with doubts and hopelessness. Yes, writing is a very rewarding task but as with everything it also has its dark days. That is why writers have something they hold on to during those troubled times. Something that will help them keep working on their dream, something that will remind them that giving up is not an option.

This necklace is a way for me to not forget why I write, despite of all the frustrations and setbacks I keep encountering. Whenever I feel myself giving in to self-doubt and giving up I just touch my necklace and remember the words written on the back. I am then reminded that first and foremost, I have to believe in the beauty of my dreams. It may be hard now but one day, this will be all worth it. The keyword is to believe, to believe in ourselves and in our dreams. If not, then nothing remains, all of the things we do will be for naught.

 

Beginnings

Wrapped

in darkness

hiding

in shadows

my true self

slowly emerges;

once shy

uncertain,

doubtful

now

gaining confidence

the world

is mine

to explore,

along

with

a hundred dreams within

I know

I will reach

my goal.

 

Learning

to breathe,

to reach out,

to live

my journey

has just started

on a road

full of

endless possibilities.

August 2015 ^_^

What happens when your world is shattered from within? When you can’t run nor hide from yourself?

UNMASKED is a poetry novel that deals not just with Bipolar but generally, with the darkness in all of us. When it overwhelms us, threatens to consume us, and how we fight to regain ourselves. It is a story of loss, hope, and survival.

Front Cover

Front Cover

Back Cover

Back Cover

Unraveling

I am
a mystery
as we all are
for who
can really say
“I know the real you?”

Awesome and
inspiring
magnificent,
melancholy
these are
who I am
and
who I am not

See beyond
my eyes
dig deep
in my soul
love
my darkness
fear
my dreams
then
you will know
who I am,
some parts of me
at least.

A Love Story

Take my hand
take my soul
conquer me, my love
I submit to your heart;
mesmerize me under the stars
awaken my deepest desires,
know my passions
unleash my dreams
let us be united
let us be bound
for I am yours
and you are mine.

tree_of_love_with_hearts_and_wind-t2

Remembering
our romantic walks,
late night talks
some of love’s recipes
we enjoyed;
our picnics by the lake
cuddles by a tree’s shade
picture perfect memories
captured under the sun’s soft rays;
that day
you gave me your hand
you gave me your soul
I conquered you honey,
you submitted to my heart
I knew then it has began
forever, you and I
for you are now mine
and I will be irrevocably yours.

Book Update 2

Hello again! ^_^ To give you an idea or feel of my book, Unmasked, here are two samples (the poem The Cottage and Living in Faith are part of the poetry novel):

Trance
In space and time
outside looking in
the world sluggishly turns
everyone moves
an hour at a time;
stuck in stasis
I stand at
the edge of existence,
grasping at
the dregs of life.

In Between
The netherworld
beckons
I am neither awake
nor asleep
dreams are impossible
to open eyes
a world here and there
is where I am in

Cold, barren
wasted land;
golden canaries,
singing nightingales
two worlds I have to choose from,
two worlds I have to balance.

Bits and Pieces

As lethargy descends upon me, I reach for a pen and a piece of paper and jot down what has been trying to escape from my mind. The words begin to tumble, as if a dog unleashed on a field after a decade of confinement. I fear that my hands are not that fast to catch up with what is spilling out of my thoughts. I know there is a story somewhere..a story of Lana and her journey…a story about Jacob…

Who are they? I myself have no idea but so far this is what they wanted to tell me, in all its unedited glory:

I saw a glint of recognition in his eyes, the first time we met. I don’t know why but my world stopped. He looked as if he knew me very well but thought I only existed in dreams – until the day I got in from the mall’s parking lot and our eyes met. I wanted to stare, to hold his gaze; but something held me back. Something inside told me to act indifferent. He kept looking. He kept looking as if by doing so he will be able to reach my soul. Finally I looked, then a goddess came and took his arm. He had to turn away, what choice did he have? She was real but with a dream like, ethereal really, beauty while I was a dream but with average looks. Things went back to normal. My world started spinning again.

Lana has the knack of picking the right kind of gift to give someone; a friend, a family member or even the family pet. She’s quite the natural, gifted you could say. She gives great advice as well. Her friends, even her own mother, have been blessed enough to know this. But for all her intuitions & empathy there is one thing Lana lacked. An itch she can’t scratch and it has burned a hole in her heart & dimmed the fire in her soul. Yes, for all Lana’s kindness, she is the most uncontent person in the world. All because she does not really know what she wants. As simple as it may sound to most people, knowing what she really wants is as complicated to Lana as a spider’s web.

Jacob. Even his name sounds surreal. Formal and familiar at the same time. It did sound quite out of place in such a trivial environment but I like the way it feels in my mouth. I can say it over and over and over again without getting tired – Jacob, Jacob…Jacob! Oh what a lovely name! How my lips enjoy forming that name while my tongue strongly followed suit to give voice to the sound. It already feels that it belongs to me; a name that was made to be uttered by my lips alone. I own his name, I wonder what he owns of mine?

I saw a glint of recognition in his eyes, the first time we met. My world stopped and now I know why. That was the day his heart spoke & mine answered.

Is it really possible to look at something & not feel anything? No sadness, no joy, no yearning. Not even a hint of tenderness even when you recall an event related to it. The absence of feelings. I never thought it possible but then again, never is such a strong word.